Friday, November 26, 2010

What defines a fail? You hear it all the time. It's like: Lol that was fail dude!" it's all around us!


Is a fail something stupid you do? Is it flunking? I guess that's what it generally was. Okay you get bellow 50% average in a class you fail. So when two people are having a conversation...

"Okay so what did you do this weekend?"
" I Danced around the room to burlesque with a boa and a random skirt"
"Wow fail..."

Okay so does this mean I got 50% percent in my dancing with a boa burlesquing? How does that work?! I don't get it

So world, your personal shipment of fail has been delivered

Thursday, November 18, 2010

The nobody cares button

Okay so I really need to think about this one it's a toughie. By the way that's sounds so much like something a granny would say. My granny in particular.

Okay so I'm sitting there yesterday, on facebook, chatting, profile stalking and I notice the like button. Nothing new. We see it everyday. No biggie. Well it is a biggie. I find it super annoying when people put up super duper dumb stuff, pointless garbage. So you know what I think
Facebook needs?

A nobody freaking cares button.

I mean don't you find it annoying when one of your friends puts up something that gets under your skin and you wish you could just say "no body cares!" I mean come on? If they let people have honesty box they may aswell have that button.

Now who invented this "like" button? Okay so what I liked her status who gives a crap? I'm just thinking why? Could it be gathering information for the emus? Or maybe it's a trap!! Well what kind of trap would use information like that to trap you? Worlds boldest trapper? Worlds boldest telemarketing trapper! Aha!

In conclusion...

No body cares


Wednesday, October 6, 2010


I have been preparing for this post for some time now. It could be the greatest post I ever done. EVER! And now presenting...


Think about it. Advertisement is everywhere. It's on the TV, it's on the radio it's even in your computer! They are supposed to make you want to buy whatever the crap their selling. But why are they so freaking annoying?

Personally i think advertising is ridiculous. TV commercials look so stupid they make no sense. I am constantly saying, oh my god what the ****? Comercials are virtually loved and hated around the world!

My favorite commercials are the old spice one, the one for bell and anything with animals. My least favorites consist of McDonald and other fast food chains. They make the food look so perfect but do you know what it is actually made of? Well I'll tell you...

Ever seen a dairy queen commercial where there is a big tall blizzard and it looks so perfect and you can just see how cold it is and sometimes it's dripping and it look delicious? WRONG! That beautiful ice cream is actually scoops of mash potatoes or lard covered in diesel to give it that shiny appearance. Nasty right?

A big heaping bull of steaming hot pasta topped with rich red sauces, is actually dry pasta sitting a top of mashed potatoes. The sauce is cold and the steams is done in editing

A big juicy thick cut hamburger with a big ol' sesame seed bun with crisp lettuce and tomatoes, is actually a raw hamburger that they have blow torched to give it that "grilled" look and then bushes with diesel. The tomato is plastique, as is the lettuce. The bum is made of gum paste. The rest is all lighting and editing.

A nice big bowl a corn flakes, the milk pours in slowly and boom! The flakes explode. To make the milk pour they take would glue and mix it with white coloring agent. The flakes are actually potato chips that have been painted and coated with fake sugar.

Who's delicious now?

Location:On a freaking plane

Wednesday, August 25, 2010

Peace Bridge?

So this so called peace bridge. Is it truly that peaceful? I think not!!!!!

So Dave Bronconnier decides one day "oh I'm gonna spend 25 million dollars on a butt ugly bridge!" great! That makes total sense. Okay okay. So why could he have not spent it on something more, I don't know... Practical! On schools? The homeless? That guy named bob?

I feel that Calgary has enough bridges. Don't you think? Here is was I think.

That bridge looks like it was made out of ply wood from Canadian tire. That bridge is so ugly it is going to cause world war 5. Ya that's right. World war 5. Ya, it's so intense it skips right over the other two.

What is your opinion on this so called peace bridge?

Thursday, July 29, 2010

The coast

Sorry I haunt been blogging for the past phew weeks. It's only because. I was on VACATION! So I went to Sidney BC to visit some family that live there. Here is what happened

12hour drive
Internet on the ferry
No crab for dinner
Elk lake
Beaver lake
Homemade sushi
More sushi
Thetis lake
The beach
Pendure island
Neighbour carol
Carols sister
Caroles sisters house
Her sons
More seals
No seals
More sleep
More crabbing
Crab for dinner!
Sleep talking
Horseback ridding!
Cleaning horse poopy
Hugs for cousin
Bead bouncing
Brother annoying
Camp preparing
More hugs
Dogs in the car
On the ferry

Now if anyone actually can figure out what that was I will be astounded

Remember, always smile :D

Location:Sidney BC

Tuesday, July 13, 2010

The calgarian summer

Ah the Canadian summer. How I salute you and your rainy clouds and on occasion snow!

Now after that poetic verse I'll talk about what i really wanna talk about. We have all heard that cliche that canadians live in an igloo and it snows, all the time. Part of that cliché is correct. On occasion it will snow and rain heavily in the spring and summer! Which is was happening right now. Why can't we just have normal weather? I mean do think Canada just decided to be in the northern hemisphere? I well maybe it did. Besides that fact that it is a country and cannot move.

Would you enjoy having hail the size of golf balls falling from the sky. Let me tell you a story...

See it was yesterday, yesterday being the operative word if you read this is could very well be Friday or whatever, anyway, it was a monday (oh joy) and I was volunteering at the pleasant hights after school program as usual. And they were gonna go to the pool. But it was starting to get rainy. We went anyway. So we got to the pool got on the deck and I said " no way I'm getting in that water." after much convincing my friend got me to come and it was freezing the next thing I know, the life guard I'd yelling get out of the pool, thunderstorm! Do I get out rush back to the center wet while the wind and black clouds swirled and I froze my tiny canadian butt off!

And that, was my Canadian summer.

This is a picture from when the river overflowed in the park. See this is why rain is scary! Come on people!

Location:Where do ya think?

Saturday, July 3, 2010

The first accomplishment of summer

This is so exciting! My first blog post from my brand new iPad! So usually I would rant about how awesome it is, but wont stray from my original post!

The first accomplishment of summer. Everyone has one, mine just happened to be a sand castle. So I'll set the scene for you...

It was a warm summer evening and I was at my house so, my friend Maddy came to pick me up to go too her house for a sleepover, pretty fun, so we got to her house and we were playing in her old treehouse and I was like, we should make a sand castle! And so we started to make one and it was pretty awesome! We had flags a bridge, windows and a tower! Unfortunatley before we could take the picture of our monumental sand castle, we need to take a shower considering we were covered in sand and we were drenched from her two giant dogs, Jake and Charlie, shaking from being her pool. So we got out and we came back and our sand castle was nothing more then a memory, her dogs trampled it! Yup. That's right.

See why can't dogs just realize what is important to us? That would be so much easier dogs knew what to touch, bet and rip. Have you ever had one of those days, I'm pretty sure we all have. Oh well! But this ipad is awesome

So tell me about your first accomplishment of summer! Really in intrigued.

Have a muffin tactic summer!

Saturday, June 12, 2010

THE Ipad

Usually i rant about something i like or don't like. so im gonna rant about something i like for a fresh change. The ipad.

I was driving back from my singing lesson as a usually do. and was passing the apple store so i told my mom "lets go see the ipad" (OMG) so i get out go in and there is was. it was perfect, like in those movies where something awesome happens, and the light hits it perfectly and the angels above sing and it's totally ROCKED!!! i mean this thing is freaking awesome! it is just great, super fast internet, awesome apps! and then i thought back.

im looking at all these people sayin' "Ipad is stupid, ipad is big, ipad is useless." well i say: "you stupid, big and useless" (i didn't actually say that but still i wish i had.) stop dissing the ipad! the ipad is the future, and the people who were saying those bad things will be like: "whoa... we were wrong lets go buy an ipad yay!" (maybe)

anyway, amazing device everything works great! and check out the online apple store for the awesome features

And remember!

Never forget!


What was it again? i forgot. oh well, happy saturday!

Monday, May 24, 2010

Animals who steal clothes

So sorry i haven't been writing! i was just think about something to write! so here it is

Animals who steal clothes
To those animal lovers out there you all know that your dogs and cats will get into your clothing. they will rip then and chew then and sometimes, pee on them. not fun. isn't it anoying? so first you realize it's gone and it just has to happen right before some party or a meeting or some important event, whatever. so you look every where and someone where in the back of your head you realize you animal isn't any where either! another huge problem right? wrong. so you look around and you find your dog in the basement chewing on something in the corner and you get closer and you see your clothing item! Happy ending right? Wrong. you end up having to wrestle your pet to get the item then when you get it it's covered in slobber!! fabulous. then you need to wash it and it's just...just...not cool. listen to this...
regular Saturday night, I'm at Alanna's house chillin' with her and rowan. so we hand out we go to sleep we wake up, so were on the computer playing sims having a ball, and all of a sudden rowan says; "Toffee has someone's bar!" (toffee is alanna's dog) and i automatical groan and get up. so i walk around and i finally catch him! and i start pulling on the one end of my bra, and he has it wenched in his mouth!!! after five minutes and 3 people trying to pull toffee OFF of my bra. i got it back and it was covered in ick.

Wasn't that a fun story? now the next time your dog steals your clothes just remember...
It's covered in spit

it will be hard to pry out

listen to your tongue to find the answers

Eat some chicken ricardo
And pungulate some juice

Pungulate: to inhale or slurp with excessive force. :D
and always remember someone else has it worse than you even when it seems like your day just sucks.

Thursday, April 1, 2010

Loaf of Bread

Isn't ridiculous how we call bread a loaf? i mean come on? loaf, it sounds like some kind of Bum! why don't we call it... a square of bread! wouldn't that make more sense? it's a square! loaf, a loaf isn't a shape in fact it means (googling it) oh wait... it means oblonged mass of food. that makes so much sense. anyway

why is bread square?! why isn't it round or triangular?! who came up with the idea that it have to be square? well if i were that guys i would make bread into a hexagon! wouldn't you want to eat a piece of bread with 8 sides? don't lie...


that's what i thought :|

Can bread grow fungus!?! why is it white? why isn't my bread purple! I WANT PURPLE BREAD!!!!!

(Canadian was going to buy some soap)

Thursday, March 25, 2010


So i was thinking the other day... who is this justin bieber? okay first of all how did he just drop out of no where and become so freaking popular!! and how did he get famouse with that voice. like don't even get me started.

Okay so this "Justin bieber" i don't like him. he makes me go blah. okay first of all when this kid sings it sounds like a twelve year old girl (apparently its really hot to sound like your 12) and when this kid hits puberty his voice is gonna change on the fly and it's gonna be hilariouse. i mean do we really want this cookie cutter pop-star kid polluting our world with his "baby! baby! baby!" (one of his grossly idiotic songs) you know who had good music? the beatles! tim mc-graw, lady antebellum! these people have real taste in music! there not in it for the money, they don't lame songs, their in it for the music!!

isn't that what music is about people?! the music. not the idiotic fans of the numb-skull songs. if you believe what your singing people will listen

so go eat a cow pie "Justin Bieber" :)

(canadian had to go to the bathroom)

Friday, March 19, 2010

My thumb is missing!!

okay i don't have a rant today because i have a very, very important issue to deal with!

my thumb is missing!
have you seen my thumb?

it was there a second ago! like i am not even kidding, so i was sitting there, and then i saw my little brother, but then he called me a loser so i went to go and punch him and then my thumb was gone!

im seriouse... wait. oh, hey! found it! it was there the whole time! :D cause you know you can't type without a thumb! ya silly person! i can't believe you actually though my thumb was missing!

don't be crazy!

okay well me and my thumb are gonna go eat some ice cream!

~Tiny Canadian

Friday, March 12, 2010

Did you know...

did you know that the world doesn't revolve around cheese?

i know...

i was shocked when i heard too.

but though we all must face it, the world does not revolve around cheese, apparently thanks to some person 500 years ago it now revolves around the sun!!!!! what nut job decided that?! i mean seriously? the sun? wow...

any way did you actually know that somewhere in the world there is someone who looks excatly like me? ya just like me. but you don't know what i look like. so any way. and there is one that looks like you to!

and you

and you

and even...

YOU!!!!!!!! :D

Monday, March 8, 2010

Why can't we all be dogs?

Why can't we all be dogs? (no offense) but it has come to my understanding that dogs like to enjoy the little things in life and they don't ponder on the larger, less important thing like : did i finish my homework? do i have a test tomorrow? why is there a marsh-mellow stuck to my nose? why is my hamster speaking to me! ... sorry I'm getting off topic....

Haven't we all had one of "those day" before? i mean come your gonna look me in the eye and tell me you've never had a crap day and then when you come home and hang out with your dog (or feline) and they made you feel better cause they look so darn peaceful?

you know what don't answer that...

anyway, here is a silly pic of my kitty cat in the sink! oh... and when i had to give her a bath... that was not fun.

Friday, February 19, 2010

You know what makes me tick?

you know what really bugs that crap out of me!? when people are chatting online with me and im like "what are ya doin'? and their like "nothing im sooo bored!" why is everyone so bored these days?! i mean we've got computers, games T.V how could you be bored with all this crap around us!?
you know what the problem is... is were all trying to hard to be "cool" well you know what? to hell with "cool"! i wanna be lame... well not lame, just... I'm not sure. anyway I'm bored talking about this...

Why can't pigs fly?

Who invented marsh-mellows?

Why is my yellow talking to me?

these are the questions that haunt me. so how in anyway could we be bored with all these mind numbing questions? i certainly am not.

Thursday, February 4, 2010

gold fish don't bounce

it seems like I'm always disagreeing with things. who doesn't from time to time. so here is something i do agree with....

Goldfish don't bounce.

They should not be bounced in the first place anyway! why in the world would you just suddenly have this idea : "Hm. i feel like bouncing a gold fish!" our world has a lot of issues, and they really should sort them out. anyway...

technically i don't know if gold fish bounce or not, cause I'm not stupid enough to try it! well i guess if you had like a seriously fat gold fish with scaled made of trampolines them it may bounce but honestly i don't know where you would get that kind of fish.... do you? i guess you could glue the trampoline parts on yourself. (ew)

you know, one of my friends had gold fish and i used to go over to her house and we would pick them out of the tank. yes sir, good slimy fish. bug eyed, cold blooded, fanged water demons of doom!!!!!!

good luck sleeping at night now :D

~Tiny Canadian

Friday, January 29, 2010

LOL cats

Let us reflect on what cat face said in episode 13: "What is this LOL cats? cats are not to be LOLed at!" i must say cat face, though you are a comic genius, i strongly disagree...

Cats were made to be LOLed at! why if we didn't LOL at cats where would we be in society? would all the efforts from i can has cheez burger go to waste? see i recently uploaded a photo. my cat was stuck in the sink :D! she was trying to get a cheese burger, cause hers fell down the drain. that's what happens when you eat in the bathroom. but back to the matter at hand

LOLing at cats it what makes the world go round. without it, it would just stop. then on one side of the world there would be no sun! wiping out half the human race
! then we would all be forced to eat our underwear and plants would take over the world!!!!!!!

do you want plants to take over the world?

Do you?!

I didn't think so... :|

Saturday, January 23, 2010


What is tofu? i find myself wondering this as i was looking through a cook book today. is it some kind of white pasty jello type stuff that has come to destroy us all?! or is it possibly just a poor, poor emotionally disturbed jello that wasn't like the other because for one, it was as white as a ghost and well... it didn't have taste. it watched sadly as the other jellos were eaten happily by fat kids and people who enjoy eating jello. Does tofu jiggles? see I've never actually had it before so I'm not sure, but i mean come on! if you looked at a picture of tofu don't you think it would look like it would jiggle a bit if you touched it?

not sure. I'm also certain that tofu and jello do not show emotion. i mean they just sit there and let you eat them! i was eating jello today and it almost spoke to me, it was like: "oh please don't eat me" but turns out if was my friend talking to a cookie with a smiley face on it sitting next to me. weird. oh well i guess i will never know

~Tiny Canadian

A short welcome

yup... this is my blog. i wonder if I'm actually talking to anyone? well i guess if i am i could just you know... talk to myself, but that's creepy... right? anyone if someone happens to stumble upon my blog well here it is. hope you enjoy

~Tiny Canadian

hit tracker